Remembering.

One of my good friends that I grew up with's Mom passed away On Friday. Yesterday I went to the funeral. As I was driving to the chapel on the north side where I grew up going to church, in my old neighborhood, a lot of emotions, feelings, and memories came back. Memories of her. My Mother. Its interesting how I can go from feelings of absolutely missing her, to having a thought that I need to tell my Mom something, almost forgetting for an instant that she's gone. I was reading over the program for the funeral and some women from my home ward were going to sing. The thought that I need to tell my Mom that they sang went through my head. Still, after 3 1/2 years I have small moments where I forget. I wonder if that will ever go away. When I heard the tragic news of my friends Mother, I had vivid memories of driving to my parents to find out what was wrong with my Mom, knowing that something was seriously wrong. I could picture exactly where everyone was sitting in the living room, my Dad's actions and the way he told us, I remember not being surprised but hearing it out loud was very devastating. I remember having hope that night, hope that she could beat it. The days to follow the news kept getting worse, and I just knew it wasn't going to get better, it was her time. The next four months were a bit of a blur. I remember people saying "atleast you get to say goodbye and prepare". I'm not really sure you can prepare for something like that until it actually happens. Not emotionally anyway. Yes, it was nice that we got to say goodbye, but at the same time, sometimes I wish it could have happened instantly so that she wouldn't have had to suffer the way she did. It was so painful to see her that way. Loss is loss, no matter how it happens. My Mom's funeral is such a blur. As Devon and I were sitting at the Luncheon for M's funeral, we were trying to remember details of my Mom's funeral and just couldn't. I think it was because we had this bubble of protection over us to help us get through it. Anyways, the funeral that I was attending brought back a lot of memories. It was a beautiful funeral. M is an incredible woman. One of the sweetest most kind hearted I have ever known. My friend spoke at it, and did an amazing job. He reminded me of many things and I was proud of his courage and testimony. Testimony that he will see his Mother again. That she has an important job to do on the other side, and that she will be waiting for her family to join her one day. They will be together again. As I will one day be reunited with my Mom. There is no greater knowledge then that.