Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Remembering.
One of my good friends that I grew up with's Mom passed away On Friday. Yesterday I went to the funeral. As I was driving to the chapel on the north side where I grew up going to church, in my old neighborhood, a lot of emotions, feelings, and memories came back. Memories of her. My Mother. Its interesting how I can go from feelings of absolutely missing her, to having a thought that I need to tell my Mom something, almost forgetting for an instant that she's gone. I was reading over the program for the funeral and some women from my home ward were going to sing. The thought that I need to tell my Mom that they sang went through my head. Still, after 3 1/2 years I have small moments where I forget. I wonder if that will ever go away. When I heard the tragic news of my friends Mother, I had vivid memories of driving to my parents to find out what was wrong with my Mom, knowing that something was seriously wrong. I could picture exactly where everyone was sitting in the living room, my Dad's actions and the way he told us, I remember not being surprised but hearing it out loud was very devastating. I remember having hope that night, hope that she could beat it. The days to follow the news kept getting worse, and I just knew it wasn't going to get better, it was her time. The next four months were a bit of a blur. I remember people saying "atleast you get to say goodbye and prepare". I'm not really sure you can prepare for something like that until it actually happens. Not emotionally anyway. Yes, it was nice that we got to say goodbye, but at the same time, sometimes I wish it could have happened instantly so that she wouldn't have had to suffer the way she did. It was so painful to see her that way. Loss is loss, no matter how it happens. My Mom's funeral is such a blur. As Devon and I were sitting at the Luncheon for M's funeral, we were trying to remember details of my Mom's funeral and just couldn't. I think it was because we had this bubble of protection over us to help us get through it. Anyways, the funeral that I was attending brought back a lot of memories. It was a beautiful funeral. M is an incredible woman. One of the sweetest most kind hearted I have ever known. My friend spoke at it, and did an amazing job. He reminded me of many things and I was proud of his courage and testimony. Testimony that he will see his Mother again. That she has an important job to do on the other side, and that she will be waiting for her family to join her one day. They will be together again. As I will one day be reunited with my Mom. There is no greater knowledge then that.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Down the toilet.
Nate's favorite Grandma Kim story:
When my Mom was
young she was using the washroom and as she bent over to flush the toilet her
glasses fell off into the toilet and were flushed down the toilet! She came out
of the bathroom crying and upset cause they were gone.
Nate tells me
atleast once a day that he'll never flush his glasses down the toilet like
Grandma Kim and he and Ty usually have a good laugh over it!
Thanks Auntie
Terry for telling us that story! It warms my heart and brings a smile to my
face when the kids talk about their Grandma Kim!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Mama's Journal
Its Sunday morning and I am home sick, so Ryan took all three kids to Church all by himself. What a good Father,eh! So I thought I would do another post of some of my Mom's journal entry's. My Mom was inactive for a few years when her and my Dad were together. When he asked her to marry him, she said without even thinking "only if I can raise our children in the church". It still took her a few years after that to go back, but she did. I know it couldn't have been easy to take four little children all by herself for all those years. It is one of the best decisions she ever made, and I am greatful she did! Her strong testimony and desire to live the gospel has been, and will always be a huge example to me!
July 20, 78
"I have started to attend my church meetings all the time now. I really enjoy it and know that it is something that will make our family grow closer together. Jim is having a hard time accepting the fact that I am a more faithful Christian and it has been a little hard on our relationship lately. I know if I keep at it and don’t give in, things will work out alright. I have so much repenting to do and must work on myself before anything else.
Gay (my Dad's brother's wife) has gone to camp and we are keeping Brad for a week. He and Ginger get along quite well, but she enjoys locking him in rooms. I hope that’s normal. She is so full of mischief these days that I’ve begun to watch her more closely. I swear, sometimes she’s smarter than me.
Sept, 30, 78
Today was a very special day for our family. Danny was baptized by Delon and I am so proud of both of them. I’m so thankful for the gospel and for the love it brings to our family.
Before the baptism we were all sitting in the foyer of the church waiting for it to start and Ginger was getting a bit fidgety and she hopped from one couch to another and ran across the room. I told her she shouldn’t act like that in the church because it was God’s house. She sat very still after that until a man walked through the room a little while later, wearing a jean jacket and faded blue jeans. Ginger watched him pass by with great interest and when he had left the room she asked, “Mom? Was that God?”
Oct, 9, 78
I certainly have a lot to be thankful for!! It has been a glorious sunny day today. I love days like this when everything in nature seems to be rosy and perfect. It’s much easier to feel thankful on days like these. The real challenge is to feel this same gratitude during the dark hours in life when things just aren’t going all that great.
We went out to Mom’s for dinner and what a meal we had. Everyone pigged out and then Barry, Danny and I helped Dad with the dishes. Later in the evening we all gathered for a short lesson. I gave the lesson and it was on “learning to love” and how it isn’t always easy to love some people, but that we must practice love until it becomes a natural feeling. There are those who make it very difficult for us to love, but if we strive to have a Christ like love – an unconditional love - towards all men, we can acquire a pure love for mankind. We won’t necessarily love them for the things they do and the way they might behave, but we can love them for being our brother or sister, sons and daughters of a wise and loving father in heaven.
We had a nice time and sang some lovely hymns too. I wish Jim had decided to come, but he really doesn’t associate with my family much. I hope it’s because he is just shy and not because he doesn’t like them. Dad offered the closing family prayer and in the prayer he asked that Jim would be able to guide and direct his family (us) the way he should.
It has been a super day and I have a wonderful family to be thankful for."
If you knew my Mom, you know that she definitely had a sincere love for everyone. Her unconditional love touched so many people, including me. I never heard her speak unkindly about anyone, and I am not even exaggerating. I am really striving to work on this because I think it is one of the greatest attribute's my Mom had. It is a beautiful thing, and I hope I can be as she was someday!
July 20, 78
"I have started to attend my church meetings all the time now. I really enjoy it and know that it is something that will make our family grow closer together. Jim is having a hard time accepting the fact that I am a more faithful Christian and it has been a little hard on our relationship lately. I know if I keep at it and don’t give in, things will work out alright. I have so much repenting to do and must work on myself before anything else.
Gay (my Dad's brother's wife) has gone to camp and we are keeping Brad for a week. He and Ginger get along quite well, but she enjoys locking him in rooms. I hope that’s normal. She is so full of mischief these days that I’ve begun to watch her more closely. I swear, sometimes she’s smarter than me.
Sept, 30, 78
Today was a very special day for our family. Danny was baptized by Delon and I am so proud of both of them. I’m so thankful for the gospel and for the love it brings to our family.
Before the baptism we were all sitting in the foyer of the church waiting for it to start and Ginger was getting a bit fidgety and she hopped from one couch to another and ran across the room. I told her she shouldn’t act like that in the church because it was God’s house. She sat very still after that until a man walked through the room a little while later, wearing a jean jacket and faded blue jeans. Ginger watched him pass by with great interest and when he had left the room she asked, “Mom? Was that God?”
Oct, 9, 78
I certainly have a lot to be thankful for!! It has been a glorious sunny day today. I love days like this when everything in nature seems to be rosy and perfect. It’s much easier to feel thankful on days like these. The real challenge is to feel this same gratitude during the dark hours in life when things just aren’t going all that great.
We went out to Mom’s for dinner and what a meal we had. Everyone pigged out and then Barry, Danny and I helped Dad with the dishes. Later in the evening we all gathered for a short lesson. I gave the lesson and it was on “learning to love” and how it isn’t always easy to love some people, but that we must practice love until it becomes a natural feeling. There are those who make it very difficult for us to love, but if we strive to have a Christ like love – an unconditional love - towards all men, we can acquire a pure love for mankind. We won’t necessarily love them for the things they do and the way they might behave, but we can love them for being our brother or sister, sons and daughters of a wise and loving father in heaven.
We had a nice time and sang some lovely hymns too. I wish Jim had decided to come, but he really doesn’t associate with my family much. I hope it’s because he is just shy and not because he doesn’t like them. Dad offered the closing family prayer and in the prayer he asked that Jim would be able to guide and direct his family (us) the way he should.
It has been a super day and I have a wonderful family to be thankful for."
If you knew my Mom, you know that she definitely had a sincere love for everyone. Her unconditional love touched so many people, including me. I never heard her speak unkindly about anyone, and I am not even exaggerating. I am really striving to work on this because I think it is one of the greatest attribute's my Mom had. It is a beautiful thing, and I hope I can be as she was someday!
Mama's Journal
Its been a really long time since I've done an entry on my Mom. Its been a hard couple of days for me. I don't know if its because it was 2 years ago that we found out she had cancer or what, but I've been missing her a ton. I've been reading her journals again. They are so inspiring and they sure make me feel closer to her. I decided I wanted to share some things out of her journals on my blog. Of course it won't be really personal things. Only things that I think are special that I know will inspire, teach, or uplift. She was an amazing teacher and she continues to teach me through her journals, and I know she can do the same for all of you! So Enjoy!
December 31, 1977 (Saturday)
"Another year has come and gone and I find that they seem to rush by so quickly. I am a year older and I hope a little wiser.(Just so everyone knows...she just turned 20!). This year I am starting a journal so that at the end of the year I can look back and enjoy the memories and reflect on the events that have taken place over the course of a year. Perhaps one day my children will read it and come to know and understand their mother better. (You have no idea Mom!). I have often been accused of being a very complex person and I suppose I am in some ways. But I like to think of myself as a person who loves people and life in general and likes to get the best out of both. I've made many foolish mistakes in the process but I'm learning and repenting. I have far to go before I become the person I want to be. There were a few years when I broke away from the church. Those years were the unhappiest of my life and I will always look back on them with pain and regret no matter how the rest of my life progresses. I hope I can prevent my children from wasting precious years as I did.
Jim and I have been married for almost 3 years. Our anniversary is April 4, 1975. We have one daughter, Ginger Lee, born October 5, 1975. She just had her 2nd birthday. She is a dainty blonde beauty who's smile reflects the sweet spirit within. She is like me in many ways, as she delights in the music of words and loves to recite nursery rhymes, sing songs and make up stories. Her imagination knows no bounds and she continually amazes us with her flair for the dramatic. She is an artistic child, one that is hard to understand at times, for her moods change as fast as the wind, but she is a treasure in every way, a shining star in our home. What a wonderful gift from God and quite a responsibility indeed to see that she is taught and nurtured and given every chance to grow upward. We are expecting our 2nd child in March which makes me 6 months pregnant. Of course we are hoping for a boy, especially Jim, who really wants a son. I'd say it has been a pretty good year and I'm certainly going to try to make the best of 1978. A few of my New Year's resolutions are:
1. be a more patient Mother
2. be a more understanding wife
3. be a better latter-Day-Saint
4. stay in shape"
Ha ha ha...do her New Years resolutions look at all familiar. I think some of them are pretty universal for Woman. Its amazing how inspired she was the day that she decided to write a journal. I urge everyone to seriously and faithfully keep a journal. I cannot express in words how much these journals of my Mom's mean to me. How much they teach and inspire me. I know your children will feel the same one day!
To be continued...
December 31, 1977 (Saturday)
"Another year has come and gone and I find that they seem to rush by so quickly. I am a year older and I hope a little wiser.(Just so everyone knows...she just turned 20!). This year I am starting a journal so that at the end of the year I can look back and enjoy the memories and reflect on the events that have taken place over the course of a year. Perhaps one day my children will read it and come to know and understand their mother better. (You have no idea Mom!). I have often been accused of being a very complex person and I suppose I am in some ways. But I like to think of myself as a person who loves people and life in general and likes to get the best out of both. I've made many foolish mistakes in the process but I'm learning and repenting. I have far to go before I become the person I want to be. There were a few years when I broke away from the church. Those years were the unhappiest of my life and I will always look back on them with pain and regret no matter how the rest of my life progresses. I hope I can prevent my children from wasting precious years as I did.
Jim and I have been married for almost 3 years. Our anniversary is April 4, 1975. We have one daughter, Ginger Lee, born October 5, 1975. She just had her 2nd birthday. She is a dainty blonde beauty who's smile reflects the sweet spirit within. She is like me in many ways, as she delights in the music of words and loves to recite nursery rhymes, sing songs and make up stories. Her imagination knows no bounds and she continually amazes us with her flair for the dramatic. She is an artistic child, one that is hard to understand at times, for her moods change as fast as the wind, but she is a treasure in every way, a shining star in our home. What a wonderful gift from God and quite a responsibility indeed to see that she is taught and nurtured and given every chance to grow upward. We are expecting our 2nd child in March which makes me 6 months pregnant. Of course we are hoping for a boy, especially Jim, who really wants a son. I'd say it has been a pretty good year and I'm certainly going to try to make the best of 1978. A few of my New Year's resolutions are:
1. be a more patient Mother
2. be a more understanding wife
3. be a better latter-Day-Saint
4. stay in shape"
Ha ha ha...do her New Years resolutions look at all familiar. I think some of them are pretty universal for Woman. Its amazing how inspired she was the day that she decided to write a journal. I urge everyone to seriously and faithfully keep a journal. I cannot express in words how much these journals of my Mom's mean to me. How much they teach and inspire me. I know your children will feel the same one day!
To be continued...
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Already a Year
A year ago today my Mom passed away. Its strange that its been a whole year and I'm still standing. I never thought I could do this without her...but I have, and I will. The last year has been tough, but at the same time I've grown immensly, and am proud of the person that I have become. I never knew I could be so strong and my Savior has been there for me every step of the way. Today my family went to put flowers on her grave and to be together...I had to work. When I told the boys it had been a year since Grandma Kim went to live with Jesus, Nate said "way up in the sky" and Ty said "yes, he's nice, and he does talk". Love them!
Miss you and love you Momma!
Look how itty bitty McKenna is!
10/06/09
Miss you and love you Momma!
Look how itty bitty McKenna is!
10/06/09
To my Momma!
This was the Mother's Day card message I wrote for my Mom last Mother's Day, a month before she passed...
Well, its Mother's Day. I still can't believe I'm a Mother of three! I can honestly say that I'm doing pretty good at it because of you. You have been my greatest example and have taught me how to be strong, independent, but also giving and kind. I wish you could know all the feelings of my heart...but please know that I love you so much! You have become my best friend, and I have learned so much from you. Life lessons that will help me through my journey here on earth. I have so many cherished memories of growing up and am so greatful to belong to such wonderful parents. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, and can't wait to be with you again.
Love you forever!
It's amazing how Heavenly Father (without us realizing at the time) prepares us for things to come in our lives. I have always had a good relationship with my Mom. Even when I was a teenager we got along great. We never fought and I loved spending time with her. One of my favorite memories is our girls weekend's away. Good food and shopping! When I was a teenager she once said that she always felt that she would die young. At the time I just laughed it off and said "Mom, don't say that". Heavenly Father was preparing her. She also use to say she never wanted to get old. After I got married, Ryan and I spent a lot of time with my family. We ate dinner at my Mom's probably 4 out of the 7 nights per week. And I saw or talked to my Mom everyday. Some people at the time might have thought that my Mom did too much for us...that we spent too much time over at her house, but how greatful I am that we got that time with her.
My Mom couldn't wait to be a Grandma. She had to wait an extra long time. I was the first to get married and have kids, and I have two older siblings. When Nate was born we saw my Mom pretty much every day. Her and Nate had such a special relationship. A week after I brought Nate home he was already having sleepover's at Grandma Kim's. He was so spoiled and spent so much time with his Grandma. My Mom was always changing diapers and I seriously don't think I bathed Nate once (except for the first time) the whole first year of his life. Again, to the outside world it looked like my Mom did too much for us, that we spent too much time at my Mom's house. But I am so greatful that Nate got to spend so much time with his Grandma. My Mom loved being a Grandma more than anything and she only got to do it for 3 years. But they were three action packed years! When she was sick in the hospital the medicine they gave her made her dream a lot, and she would do and say funny things. She was usually doing stuff with or talking to Nate. It made my heart ache every time, but also made me happy because she had so many special memories with Nate. When Ty and Izabella joined our family my Mom got to spend lots of time with them too. We were always gathered at her house. McKenna joined our family two days before my Mom went into the hospital. It killed my Mom that she couldn't really hold her very much or change her diapers. I'm so glad that my Mom got to see her though. And it was especially special that we could have McKenna's blessing at the hospital. She was the best Grandma!
My Mom had a good relationship with her sister and her Mom, and we spent a lot of time with my Grandma and cousin's when we were younger. My Mom served in every calling in the church and was a seminary teacher when she got sick. She touched so many lives and helped so many people. She got to travel a lot. She's been all over Canada and the U.S and even got to go to Mexico, Switzerland, France, London, and her dream vacation to Israel(which she went on 2 weeks before she went into the hospital and was in lots of pain while she was there). She would be the first person to tell you she had a wonderful, fulfilling life. She had many trials and struggles but she was strong and overcame them all. I know that when she died she was at a good enough place in her life that she was ready. She told us that she wasn't afraid to die, just afraid of what she had to do to get there. I know she is working hard on the other side and enjoying every minute of it! Serving came so easy to her that I know she is the happiest when she is able to serve. I miss her like crazy but am so happy for my Savior and my family who helped me through the last year. I never knew I could be so strong, and my testimony has grown leaps and bounds because of this experience. And because I know with certainty that I will see my Mom again, I can move on and live life to the fullest! I am so grateful for this knowledge! Thank you Mom, for loving me and teaching more than I could have ever imagined in the short time that we were together! I love you!
10/05/09
Well, its Mother's Day. I still can't believe I'm a Mother of three! I can honestly say that I'm doing pretty good at it because of you. You have been my greatest example and have taught me how to be strong, independent, but also giving and kind. I wish you could know all the feelings of my heart...but please know that I love you so much! You have become my best friend, and I have learned so much from you. Life lessons that will help me through my journey here on earth. I have so many cherished memories of growing up and am so greatful to belong to such wonderful parents. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, and can't wait to be with you again.
Love you forever!
It's amazing how Heavenly Father (without us realizing at the time) prepares us for things to come in our lives. I have always had a good relationship with my Mom. Even when I was a teenager we got along great. We never fought and I loved spending time with her. One of my favorite memories is our girls weekend's away. Good food and shopping! When I was a teenager she once said that she always felt that she would die young. At the time I just laughed it off and said "Mom, don't say that". Heavenly Father was preparing her. She also use to say she never wanted to get old. After I got married, Ryan and I spent a lot of time with my family. We ate dinner at my Mom's probably 4 out of the 7 nights per week. And I saw or talked to my Mom everyday. Some people at the time might have thought that my Mom did too much for us...that we spent too much time over at her house, but how greatful I am that we got that time with her.
My Mom couldn't wait to be a Grandma. She had to wait an extra long time. I was the first to get married and have kids, and I have two older siblings. When Nate was born we saw my Mom pretty much every day. Her and Nate had such a special relationship. A week after I brought Nate home he was already having sleepover's at Grandma Kim's. He was so spoiled and spent so much time with his Grandma. My Mom was always changing diapers and I seriously don't think I bathed Nate once (except for the first time) the whole first year of his life. Again, to the outside world it looked like my Mom did too much for us, that we spent too much time at my Mom's house. But I am so greatful that Nate got to spend so much time with his Grandma. My Mom loved being a Grandma more than anything and she only got to do it for 3 years. But they were three action packed years! When she was sick in the hospital the medicine they gave her made her dream a lot, and she would do and say funny things. She was usually doing stuff with or talking to Nate. It made my heart ache every time, but also made me happy because she had so many special memories with Nate. When Ty and Izabella joined our family my Mom got to spend lots of time with them too. We were always gathered at her house. McKenna joined our family two days before my Mom went into the hospital. It killed my Mom that she couldn't really hold her very much or change her diapers. I'm so glad that my Mom got to see her though. And it was especially special that we could have McKenna's blessing at the hospital. She was the best Grandma!
My Mom had a good relationship with her sister and her Mom, and we spent a lot of time with my Grandma and cousin's when we were younger. My Mom served in every calling in the church and was a seminary teacher when she got sick. She touched so many lives and helped so many people. She got to travel a lot. She's been all over Canada and the U.S and even got to go to Mexico, Switzerland, France, London, and her dream vacation to Israel(which she went on 2 weeks before she went into the hospital and was in lots of pain while she was there). She would be the first person to tell you she had a wonderful, fulfilling life. She had many trials and struggles but she was strong and overcame them all. I know that when she died she was at a good enough place in her life that she was ready. She told us that she wasn't afraid to die, just afraid of what she had to do to get there. I know she is working hard on the other side and enjoying every minute of it! Serving came so easy to her that I know she is the happiest when she is able to serve. I miss her like crazy but am so happy for my Savior and my family who helped me through the last year. I never knew I could be so strong, and my testimony has grown leaps and bounds because of this experience. And because I know with certainty that I will see my Mom again, I can move on and live life to the fullest! I am so grateful for this knowledge! Thank you Mom, for loving me and teaching more than I could have ever imagined in the short time that we were together! I love you!
10/05/09
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Mommy Moment!
Today we went to put a wreath on my mom's gravestone. Its so weird that she was here with us last Christmas but won't be with us this year or anymore to come. I'm so greatful for three little children who will keep me so busy that I won't have too much time to be sad. Here are some Christmas memories I have of my Mom:
Singing Christmas songs while mom played the guitar or the onmnicord
Mom telling me to calm down and relax over a 100 times because I was so giddy with excitement and literally squeeling every 2 minutes
Mom in her slippers and house coat Christmas morning
Waking up Christmas morning to Grandma Fraser and Mom having tea.
After opening our stockings Mom would make us eat breakfast before we got to open presents.
Mom opening her first ever computer for our home. She was so surprised and excited!
Mom forgetting to label the presents one year and Cody opened my Dad's razor instead of his gameboy! Not sure who was more shocked...my mom or Cody!
Santa bags!
She always made the holidays exciting and meaningful! Merry Christmas Mom!
P.S My siblings and our family's usually go to my Dad's house for Sunday dinner. Tonight when we were all sitting at the table eating Nate says "I think there's someone missing" we all looked around but everyone was there, and then Nate said "I think its Grandma Kim". It was so sweet. He doesn't talk about her much anymore so it was pretty special!
21/12/08
Singing Christmas songs while mom played the guitar or the onmnicord
Mom telling me to calm down and relax over a 100 times because I was so giddy with excitement and literally squeeling every 2 minutes
Mom in her slippers and house coat Christmas morning
Waking up Christmas morning to Grandma Fraser and Mom having tea.
After opening our stockings Mom would make us eat breakfast before we got to open presents.
Mom opening her first ever computer for our home. She was so surprised and excited!
Mom forgetting to label the presents one year and Cody opened my Dad's razor instead of his gameboy! Not sure who was more shocked...my mom or Cody!
Santa bags!
She always made the holidays exciting and meaningful! Merry Christmas Mom!
P.S My siblings and our family's usually go to my Dad's house for Sunday dinner. Tonight when we were all sitting at the table eating Nate says "I think there's someone missing" we all looked around but everyone was there, and then Nate said "I think its Grandma Kim". It was so sweet. He doesn't talk about her much anymore so it was pretty special!
21/12/08
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