Perfect

Hayley has a cold. She's been pretty stuffy and congested at night which has made for some sleepless nights. Last night I was grateful it was Ryan's night to get up with her because I was exhausted. Of course it took me forever to fall asleep. Then at 2:30am McKenna came wondering into our room. I put her on the floor and got back in bed. Then Hayley started crying, so I nudged Ry to get up and he did. She wouldn't settle. He worked on it for an hour and a half, but no such luck. I didn't sleep the whole time he was trying. Finally I got up. I'm always so frustrated and mad in that instant that I have to get up...but once I'm up and start taking care of Hayley, those feeling usually go away. So, here comes the perfect part...

I started getting her a bottle, changed her diaper, put some rub on her chest, she wouldn't take her soother so I thought maybe her gums were bothering her and gave her some tylenol. We sat down and I gave her a bottle. She didn't drink much. She took her soother and there we sat. Hayley in her cozy, fleece sleeper all cuddled in my arms. I rocked her and hummed primary songs, and held her little hand in mine. She sat there content. Once in awhile she'd turn her little head and look up at me with her big eyes and I could just see it. She felt safe and happy there in her Mother's arms. Sitting with her in the peaceful early morning felt perfect. Then when I looked down and she had fallen asleep, it felt Heavenly. I knew she was asleep and settled but I held her for a few more minutes. I know these moments won't last much longer. And I will be grateful for the sleep, but I will sure miss these pure moments of perfection with my little baby girl.